So I need a little bit of advice/opinions from my friends…
I’m having a lil dilemma and heartbreak involving my best friend.
BF and I have been friends since Sophomore year in High School. We were so close, that it was like she’s my sister… in fact, I have always considered her my sister. My family has taken her in as a part of the family as well. We’d invite her to all the family events, and if she wasn’t there, it was always, “Where’s Jamie”? And sometimes I’d have to call her. She was the one person I could talk to about anything and everything. We’d laugh, we’d cry, we’d do so much together.
Things started to change a while back. There was a big secret she’d kept from me and I felt hurt… and she felt hurt by me not taking her side on an issue, but I didn’t know what to believe when she wasn’t completely honest with me. We reconciled, and things seemed ok. She started to date someone and things continued to change, whether it was me not completely agreeing with her choice, or her telling me all the reservations she had about him or how he treated her (per her words) or how I felt she put him before her friends with no regard for her friends like me. It just got worse. But I was willing to overlook all of that. Why? Because I love her; she was my sister.
She moved to DC in March ’09 to be with her boyfriend, and not far from me, but we were never able to see each other. I was working full time, going to school at night part time, and trying to have a semi social life. A couple times we’d try to make plans, but not much ever panned out. We got together maybe 3 times since she’s been up here, the last time being in Aug ’09 when we went to see Blondie and Pat Benetar. In October, Tommy and I were engaged. I told her and we texted, back and forth about when we were going to start wedding planning etc. Christmas time came around and we hadn’t seen each other, I sent her a message about how we hadn’t seen each other, and she replied back that she’d been trying and the ball was in my court. I felt hurt because I’d told her before that my schedule was absolutely crazy and when classes were finally over, I was making an effort to get together. A snide comment like that just hurt. I’d sent a couple text messages since, phone calls, and FB messages with no response. If maybe she was upset at me for not getting together, it was extremely difficult given my circumstances. If she was upset at me for not asking her to be a part of my wedding party, how could I have if she didn’t return my attempts at contact (I wanted to ask all my bridesmaids in person… I wanted it to be special and personal). I really have no idea as to why she’s not speaking to me. I sent her flowers on her birthday, Christmas cards, text messages, etc. and have gotten nothing back in return.
So, now, I’m at a loss. I want to invite her to the wedding at least. I love her and am just heartbroken. Some people say to just let it be. Some say just invite her, if she doesn’t come it’s her decision, but at least I tried; and not to be devastated if she doesn’t show. (I’m a very emotional person and am easily hurt) I watch Bride Wars or any chic flick with friends, and I get really sad, because I miss her.
What do I do? Do I just write her off? Do I make the wedding invite one last ditch effort? Or do I just continue trying to contact her until she says stop?
Thanks for letting me rant a bit… Just something that’s been bothering me.